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People in your Raid
These are the People in your Raid. The Raid — You raid with these people. You work with these people. These people are closer than your family. You should worry. *Note: Overlaps WILL occur with these groups, and there may be more than one of the same category. Count your lucky stars or swear profusely depending on what you have. Leaders/Officers The GM He’s sacrificed his health, friends, and probably a couple of jobs to drag you through new content. When the guild isn’t performing, these decisions are in question. Prone to shooting sprees, forum flame wars, and the rapid advancement/gearing of whatever toon the guild “needs”. If you can keep your mouth shut, he’ll go emo and quit before you get gkicked. Still, you do like the guy. Or did. Before he went crazy. See drunks, below. The GM's Significant Other Okay, so he was going to have to quit but he tricked his SO into playing. She loves it. She's terrible. You'll effectively 24 man every boss. Count on 4 constructs in the raid, every attempt. She plays a Blood Elf or Night Elf. The Heir Apparent When the GM goes psycho, ninjas the bank, and gdisbands, you're the guy the guild is gonna look to to fix the mess. You see it coming. You can't decide if ritual suicide or being the new gm would be more painful. The Raid Leader When you stand in the flames, he dies a little bit inside. The Positive Officer “That was great. Just great. You know, only 5% of guilds have even made it to Supremus, and getting him down to 67% on the second attempt is hawt.” See Stoners, below. The Negative Officer “Jesus Christ why are there corpses under all these goddamn volcanoes? It’s Supremus for %@*@s’s sake. GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN FLAME!” See drunks, below. The Healing Officer Has this job because, as the newest officer who plays a healer, he’s stuck with it. The Hunter Class Lead Will tell you that it does actually require skill and preparation to play a hunter well in the end game. Lies frequently. Metermaid He's got meters running. Always. Asks for meter postage whenever he's in the top 5, which is rare, as his focus on the meters is preventing him from seeing the volcano he's pathing towards. Pulls aggro. Has yet to realize that 0 health returns 0 dps. If he's healing, you might as well just put him on raid, he's gonna heal them anyway. Stratman Has read every strategy on the entire internet for every boss. Unable to think critically. Knows where his talk key is. Hated by the officers. Likely to play a hunter or mage. If this is also Chick With Accent, below, guild will probably collapse. H4XXman Is aware of the minor exploit that would provide the edge you need for victory, if only you would listen to him. Never mind that the exploit was fixed five patches ago, H4XXman's friend just used it last week. After each wipe, H4XXman will break the cold silence in Ventrilo with, "I'm telling you guys, if we hop onto the ledge, the adds will bug." The Happy Couple Exchange cute comments in guild chat, despite sitting five feet away from eachother in their living room. The Happy Couple will mercilessly double-team unsuspecting victims during guild disputes. If the raid leader raises an issue with the performance of Mrs. Priest, Mr. Hunter will make his presence known in defense of his lover. The Miserable Couple Speak to each other in-game more often than in real life. Have attended more raids together than dinner dates. The sound of children not being attended to is audible in Ventrilo. The Attractive Female Manufactures 1000ish DPS night after night, yet is an unshakable fixture on your raid's roster. You're secretly bitter about this. Almost undoubtedly an Elf, though she may be a curvaceous draenei or possibly a Forsaken. She's so terrible and vain and thinks she's so great and... Oh, man she has such a cute voice in Vent! Oh, wait, she just made an inside joke in guild chat, let me make it clear how funny I thought it was. I wonder if she'd give me her Facebook? BRB, I'm going to look at the picture she posted on the forums for the fourth time this week. The Stay At Home Mom She’s around children all day and craves adult conversation. Babbles incessantly in vent, forgetting that adult conversation doesn’t usually begin with, “So I was talking to (insert name of four-year-old child) and he says…” Well liked, but frequently muted. Mr. Mikeless Has a microphone, though claims not to, he hears the conversation and directions. Once wiped the raid because he started talking and most folks alt-tabbed to see who the hell was speaking. May be your best player. The Lootwhore The guy that always gets excited when something new drops and will often link what the boss, the raid is currently on, drops. Lives by a "get loot fast" rule. Unlikely to pass small upgrades. Usually manages to miss the very best items because he is always at -dkp. May be closely related to the kid. See also The Beggar. The Kid So, you messed up on this guy’s interview and nobody noticed that he was 12. But, he can play or at least usually. His playing time is unpredictable getting grounded by his parents at least twice a month but he can play. The Friend of the Kid Applies for guild two weeks after The Kid gets in, including that The Kid is a longtime member that recommends him. Goes berzerk about any purple linked in guild chat, heaven help you if an orange shows up, regardless if his class can use it or not. Unfortunately, unlike The Kid, he cannot PvE for a damn. The Kid's Little Brother Shares much of The Kid's talent. Sometimes is better than him, although is probably two or three years younger than him. He doesn't understand much and if he dies will begin an argument with The Kid. May result in wipes. The Other kid Remember that accountant you interviewed for the fury warrior position? And how you wondered how he’d make time to raid during tax season? He couldn’t. His eleven year old daughter took over about that time. She’s been raiding since. Mages, that’s an eleven year-old girl owning you night after night. The Lying Kid This guy claims to be 25, despite his squeaky voice on vent (if he ever actually talks on vent), and the fact that he's an LOLWUTter. His gear is decent, save for some level 36 ring or trinket he's wearing. Likely an Elf, though he may be a Tauren or a Gnome. Oftentimes a Rogue or a Hunter. The Backbone Plays a tank. Doesn't have much to say. Made an error once in SSC, or so you heard. Will disconnect when Gorefiend is at 30% and keep aggro while offline for the rest of the fight. Has never said anything negative to the healers. Ever. GL with your progression without one of these. Hates the prima donnas. The Player Who Doesn't Do His Homework Always good for insightful commentary and clever observation just after a wipe. "Holy Crap Man! I was just standing and shooting and this damn VOLCANO popped on me! When did they put in those volcanoes?" Mr. We're Not Gonna Do It The player that says we can't do it after four attempts. Each attempt got you 15% closer to winning, but each attempt got Mr. Glass Half-Empty 15 decibels louder in voicing their discontent of repair bills and how impossible the encounter is without certain gear/raid make-up. Can sometimes be confused with being an Elitist. See also The Lootwhore. The Prophet Kept insisting that you were going to need a melee group for BT, despite the fact that melee was dreadful for SSC/BT. Badgered the management until they broke. Plays a rogue. Shreds. Loved by the most devout. The Most Devout This is the guy who gets to play an off-spec in a big-boy raid. He's the Disc Priest or the enhance shammy. He cannot believe that some fate is letting him have this much fun that he's afraid it will all come crashing down. Prays devoutly to his favorite deity that the guild won't collapse because he'll never have THIS much fun again. Ever. The Drunks The core of your guild. As raid progresses, their voices in vent are getting just ever so slightly slurred. You don’t notice because you’re trying to sound sober yourself. DPS output seems to scale positively with blood alcohol content. The Stoners Quietly wiping raids since the beta. They really, really, really hate having to move out of the fire. Almost always die at the Safety Dance or Frogger http://www.tankhard.com/2008/11/10/frogger/ in Naxxramas. Two of them are dead under the volcanoes. They live in fear of the negative officer. They have their own channel. Try /join (insertguildname)stoners. You’ll see who’s in there. It’ll explain a lot. Still, if these guys don't show, bosses don't seem to actually die. They’re also having more fun than everyone else combined. The Prima Donna Requires special attention from management. Constantly whining. Plays some vital role. Might be a main tank, mage tank, or lock tank. The officers really hate this guy and as soon as they can find another tank with 32,000 buffed HP, he’s out. Not a stoner. The Chick with the Accent Is the accent fake? Nobody knows or cares. Future visits to Australia/Britain/New Zealand/Alabama are now planned by all single raid members. The Healing Pallie Hates healing and had to go holy to see endgame. If you raid with a boomkin, a feral druid, a fury warrior, a shadow priest, or any non-resto shaman, you are not getting a 10 minute blessing. Forget it. He hates you. God help you if he has a raid-viable alt in one of those classes; you're not even getting heals. Also, see Prima Donna. The Easily Distracted Healer He's been with the guild for as long as anyone remembers. He means well and when he's focused he heals well too, but is often the cause of a wipe when his attention is drawn away from the fight. He apologizes profusely but you think he may have forgotten his medication the morning of the raid. The Departed Legend You joined after he left. You suspect that he could not actually solo Doomwalker, but you're not totally sure. The Disgruntled Raider Took an unannounced, extended vacation and now has to share his raid spot with the other 11 extra dps. Very angry about this situation. Doesn't realize that ##@#*ing is making things worse. Officers pray for a gquit. The Escape Artist Apologizes profusely for having to drop from a raid half way through but he just has to go and he's really, really sorry. Only afterwards do you realize he ****ed off with half the raid's shards and loot. The Warlock Whisperer Directionally challenged. Despite having run Karazhan 1.26 million times, will require a summon to Maiden's room from the entrance. Has a "summon pls" macro. Strangely, is good at moving away from volcanoes. See (you guessed it) Stoners. The New Guy Begins most sentences with, "That's not how we did it in my old guild in ." Likely to remain guilded for approximately one week. You wonder if he'll be telling his next guild, "In my old guild, we ran TOWARDS the volcanoes. The Backup He's the guy waiting in the wings for the raid slot. Totally dependable and plays about 200% better than the guy for whom he's filling in. He's got half the gear and puts out 20% more dps. Totally cool, amazingly competent. You love it when the main can't be there. The Buff-less Wonder Plays a class with group buffs, but "forgets" to bring the necessary reagents. Highly skilled at turning a deaf ear and blind eye to buff assignments. If reminded, will proceed to slowly buff people one by one until someone else is overwhelmed by frustration and does it for them. The Loudmouth This is the guy who will not shut up on vent. Ever. It doesn't matter if you are buffing up or farming trash or killing a progression boss, he just can't seem to get the idea through his head that nobody really gives a damn about his buddy's new iguana. At least 50% of everything said on your vent in a given raid is said by this person. Nobody can stand the guy, but unfortunately, nobody wants to kick him either, because he's invariably one of your best and most dedicated players. Possibly even a solid candidate to be an officer, if everybody weren't so terrified of what might happen if the guy had justification to talk even more. Mr. Pick Me! Pick Me! This guy is online and ready to raid. Always. Need a prot warrior? He's got one. A holy pallie? Check. Problem is, he's really bad. Like bad bad. You keep him in the guild because he's... well, he's always been in the guild. The toon he sucks the least with may even be an Officer. So when your main tank, back up tank, and back up back up tank have vanished Mr. Pick is ready to rock, much to everyone else's horror. Tootsie Has a female toon. Claims to be female. Receives many of the benefits that the other females do, people are nice to her; she gets suspiciously good loot. Problem is, she's never posted a picture of herself, and she never talks on Vent. Could she really be a girl? Sure. But who's to know? The Anti-Tootsie Also plays a female toon. Unlike the Tootsie, however, he makes no effort to hide the fact that he is male in real life. Often has a very deep voice and will talk in Vent displaying characteristically male behaviors, such as swearing, bossing people around, insulting his guildmates, and bragging about his DPS. Often his justification is that he'd rather stare at a girl for hours on end than a guy (which makes you wonder how often he gets out, or whether he's ever had a girlfriend for that matter). It takes you a while to realize that that macho voice is actually a female toon, at which point you feel a bit of shame inside knowing that that elf you've been oggling is as manly as they come. See drunks, above. The Dumbest Person On The Planet No one's quite sure exactly what's wrong with this guy, perhaps human evolution really has come to a standstill. Will be the cause of 60% of your wipes until he gets a /gkick. Tell him to spread out and he'll glue himself to a squishy healer. Tell him to avoid something and he'll stand in it till dead, then complain that he didn't get any heals. Ask him to CC the yellow star and he'll pick the orange circle then claim bleeding wounds debuff on his target. Frequently RL friends with an officer. The 95% Raider This guy usually is on his game, though occasionally he will do extraordinarily stupid things that will make you question whether or not he's at his keys. Symptoms include attempting to sap a mob without being stealthed, blinking into Aran's room (causing a wipe), not having Righteous Fury up while tanking, and/or Soulstoning themselves instead of the indicated target. Headache of the The Raid Leader, often a drunk or stoner. The Obvious Explainer The guy who has read wowwiki, and probably wrote some of it. He will stop the raid for 15 minutes before each fight to explain to all the new people (of which there are zero) that this guy might shoot fire once in a while, or the hunter adds might shoot arrows at you. He'll warn you that the boss can hit hard, and tell everyone to avoid damage as much as possible. He'll tell the DPS to hit as hard as they can without pulling aggro. He'll remind the healers that they need to keep the tanks alive, and not run out of mana. By the time his explanation of the obvious is over, the spawns have come up behind you and wiped the raid. Strangely, when he's not in the raid you wipe more. Mister Lucky Bastard This is the guy who managed to be the only representative of his class that night for whatever reason and THAT'S the night every boss drops his class's loot. Usually followed by a marked dropoff in raid attendance afterwards. Most commonly a Rogue. The Dead Mage This spell slinger may or may not be an Undead Mage. Has no idea how to manage aggro and firmly believes that AOE is the solution to every situation. Spends most of the raid face down. The scourge of all healing classes. The Former Dead Mage This spell slinger is tired of being dead for most of the fights and spends most of his/her raiding as a passive pet, doing most other duties as buffing and following polymorphing-targets, not to be so easily detected as a slacker. When being yelled at by an officer or raid-leader starts to do some dmg to the target marked as "skull". Is constantly the mage at the bottom of the dmg-meter until the raid gets to a boss. Then starts to dps away. This will put the Former Dead Mage over the tanks on the dmg-meter, but helplessly below the other damage dealers. Tries to make up for this by over-aggroing and dies. Will do even less dps on the trash in the next raid due to this. The Scary Caster Plays a mage or a warlock. He rarely speaks. If he's Alliance, he'll be a Human or Draenei. If he's Horde, he'll be a Forsaken. You've never seen him die, and you've never seen him anywhere but the top of the DPS meter, somehow managing to never draw aggro. He's a great player. He also hates you, prima donnas, and possibly the entire guild. Holds onto grudges indefinitely. The Gnomish Sacrifice This guy plays a Gnome mage, warlock, or rogue. He plays it really well, but has threat issues. Often enough he forgets to watch the threat meter and pulls aggro. The Raid doesn't wipe, but he sure does. He laughs about it and gets back on with the raid, and has since become a running gag for the guild. The raid now doesn't believe they will do well without his sacrifice early on in the night. If nothing else, he's good to laugh at. The Insatiable Smoker This character can be recognized by their raspy voice and frequent cough. Must go AFK after every boss fight to puff away. Asks for more frequent breaks and may be unresponsive at unpredictable times. The Tab-Targetter This raider is completely incapable of creating an assist macro and fails to recognize the significance of the skull icon. When played by a hunter character expect erratic pet behaviors and prime dps targets to be frozen in blocks of ice. The Over-confident Rogue Always runs into trash mobs and attempts to tank with Evasion and Slice n Dice, often making a point to get as much aggro as possible on bosses. Will complain about not getting heals when he dies. Is a major source behind wipes. The Nostalgic Guy Long-time member of the guild. Constantly talks about how "they used to do things back in Molten Core". Hardly ever participates in raiding anymore, though the officers refuse to kick him, because, hey, he's cool. The Elitist This guy used to be part of the core raiding team of the best guild on the server, but has since been forced to downgrade to you guys because of schedule problems or drama in that guild. Alternatively, he's been with you guys all along and wants to shift to a harder core guild but can't because of said scheduling problems. He's better than all of you, and he knows it, and he's not afraid to say so. Generally makes snide comments at every wipe and argues with other people over strategy. Nobody admits to like him in public but lots of people suck up to this guy. The Elitist Wannabe This guy behaves exactly like the elitist, except he hasn't got the skill to back it up. The AFK guy Goes afk at random intervals, commonly before boss fights, oftentimes not notifying the raid, or typing /afk. Is likely a tank or healer. Is a major source of wipes. The Quote-Unquote Raider This guy usually feels proud of himself. You see, he's a "raider". When you first talk to the guy, he'll sound pretty competent. He is the cause of a lot of wipes, and he will always form weird excuses, like, the new patch has added a taunt effect to Execute, or that heals have had a new Miss feature. After a full dungeon clear conversations will undoubtedly lead back to him saying "I am so great, I am so great, I can solo so much"... Watch out for the raider... The Beggar Often has his mind set on various pieces of gear. If said piece of gear drops, he'll use every excuse in the book to try and get it over everyone else who needs it. Often uses excuses like "It's my birthday." It should be noted that he has about five birthdays a month. Drama Fiend Will start drama at every chance they get, oftentimes over not getting into a raid, or not getting a piece of gear they didn't need. If they ARE participating in Raids, they will complain about why they are just a Veteran and not an Officer, often bringing up the injustice of the Guild Leader having two low-level alts as Officers. Often a Hunter, Druid, Death Knight, or Rogue. Also, see Prima Donna. The Rocker Oftentimes plays music over Vent from the new CD he just got, especially during boss fights and important pulls. Is in the guild for about two weeks. Pop Star Was once told he/she could sing. Now, must share that amazing talent with the world at every opportunity in Vent, even if the rules prohibit it. On rare occasions, may be given a Karaoke channel. It will never be contained to this. See drunks, Prima Donna. The Token Mexican The one Mexican guy in the guild. The drunks will often, halfway through the night, begin making increasingly racist cracks. Sticks around to make subtle "stupid white people" jokes. The Aussie Usually the only Aussie in the raid and s/he loves to talk constantly on vent...and people like talking to him/her. Usually a pretty good player. It's always good to have an Aussie in the raid; only good things can come from it. The Snarky Guy Tends to classify everyone in the raid into a dozen or so arbitrary categories. Generally dislikes people of a different ethnic group, females, people older than him, people younger than him, anyone who doesn't listen to his favorite band, people who've played the game longer than he has, people who talk enough, people who don't talk at all, and pretty much everyone in the raid. Mediocre player at best. Spends most of his time editing humorous pages on wowwiki when he should be paying attention to the fight at hand. The Newfie From some distant planet called Newfoundland, it's actually somewhere in Eastern Canada. Talks at lightning speed with an accent no one recognizes at first. Other Canadians in the guild will offend them by calling them a Newfie. Can't make raids because when it's 9PM where you live it's 12:30 where they are and they have work in the morning. They also have their dailies completed well before you and usually have a stockpile of great trade goods because they're farming before everyone else on the server is awake, it's also the only time they can get a decent connection. Force help you if they're the Raid Leader but may be the Prima Donna. See also: drunks See also People in the Battlegrounds External links Category:Raids Category:Community